To Start Things Off...

It seems like we all have those defining moments in our lives where we stop and realise that everything is changing. A certain event, that makes us question our careers options, or a sunrise that hits the world in such a way, it unmasks all the worlds secret beauties, so on... so forth...

At one point or another, we all begin to question ourselves. Am I good enough? Strong enough? Beautiful enough? Interesting enough?... Repetitive enough? Ya... I thought so too. I found myself in this repetitive tidal wave of second guessing, doubt and self destruction. On the surface, strong, independent, down to earth and directed. But at the core? an absolute wreck or insecurities, doubt and self loathing. I fell into this ridiculous spasm of tearing myself apart and focusing on trying to make sure no one around me, was as miserable as I was. While the intent seems noble, the selfish reasons behind it were trying to mask my own unhappiness by giving myself some form of purpose.

Turns out, I forgot about myself along the way. Doing so, I juggled dead end relationships and substance abuse. It took years too long to realise that I deserved better.

Sometimes, it takes that special someone to make you gain a new perspective on life, and reconsider your own views towards your self worth. In my case, it was a young man who for the first time, made my heart stop on a dime, and made the world seem... just a little bit brighter. I guess all it takes sometimes... to get your life together, or even want to or care, is someone who cares about you and loves you for the beautiful disaster you are. Sometimes... that's enough. and sometimes... it's everything...